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Sunday, December 28, 2008

心情好肉酸!!


因为这次的离别,哭得眼睛都肿了

28 号终于到了,也就是哭得最多次出的一天。看见朋友依依不舍地和亲人告别,在机场哭得稀里哗啦的。反而我还很镇定的和家人谈电话,一滴眼泪也没掉。嘻嘻,很不像我吧!不过,其实我也没那么坚强啦。。当我听到Mii, Sylvia 和 Juan 的声音,我的眼泪就情不自禁地流出来了。为什么呢?也许,和他们住在一起也有一段是时间了,感情也会加深。虽然有时他们真的有点吵,不过吵得来也瞒可爱下的~看来真的已经习惯在我的生活中有他们的存在。i think they are really can be part of my life。Mii 她看起来就像和我同年龄,因为她的个子娇小林龙,男子看到她就想保护她,不让她被伤害。每次和她谈天就觉得很舒服,完全没有压力!很不舍得她啊!
已经离开malaysia的我说不出现在起起伏伏地心情。感觉像还有很多东西还没settle,很想再多看他一眼, 很想和他一起不断地作弄,大声笑!坦白说,我真的真的很想念他咯!听到他病了,更想在他身边照顾他,没想到我自己也差不多病倒了,喉咙痛得好命!啊!很想再吃他煮的生熟蛋,两人一起享用晚餐。

唉,人就是那么犯贱。明明知道是不可能的事还要险下去。为什么每次都回喜欢上一个对自己没感觉的人,每次都那么不幸运!!

Emo Comments For Hi5

21/12 冬至


一年一次的冬至又到了!其实也没什么好兴奋的, 可能每一年都会在家乡陪家人一起过。对我来说也没什么好特别的。不过, 比起姐姐和哥哥我是最幸福的。因为人在外地的他们不懂有多少年没和家人一起过冬至吃汤圆了。 数一数都有五六年了,看来每一年的今天他们会特别想家, 想念妈妈的风趣笑声和重复又重复的唠叨我们赶快把汤圆给搓好。


在家里面, 姐姐是最帮得妈妈的好的帮手,因为她本身就很爱挫汤圆。还记得以前小的时候,姐姐每次都会第一个到厨房帮忙妈妈挫汤圆,而我和两个哥哥就贪爽一起到厨房帮忙。起初,我们每一个都很乖的挫。当时妈妈也感到开心,可以尽快挫好。谁知道 不到半小时,我和哥哥的汤圆越挫越大粒(想把汤圆快点搓好嘛!省时间!)不过,更离谱的是大哥还把汤圆叠成面粉娃娃!哈哈!!!可能还小不懂事;爱玩吧!想到搓汤圆的感觉就像玩泥浆一样,湿湿粘粘的,很好玩!哈哈! 因为我们家的妈妈非常爱干净,小时候我们就像被关在笼子里的小鸟一样,每天只能待在家玩‘铁甲人’。每次都很羡慕隔壁邻家小孩可以出去玩 ,而且还是每天在我们家的门口,不知是不是在炫耀!当我和哥哥把汤圆弄得一团糟时, 妈妈就会很生气说(朝州话: ai si lo…)然后便赶我们去客厅。所以,最后还是妈妈和姐姐俩搓完。哈哈!! 很顽皮对吧!

自己亲手做的汤圆


回想起小时候顽皮的我们,真的很想念。现在家中最小的我都已经21 岁了,最大的大姐也已经32 岁,哪里还会重温这些美好的时光呢?看着爸爸和妈妈一年又一年的老去,心里面真的很酸;很心痛!很想出国之前紧紧地抱着他们,可是真的没有这 种勇气。可能我们4 兄妹不像其他家的小孩 会和家人谈心开完笑吧!说真的我们4 兄妹对爸爸也蛮冷淡的,可能是因为爸爸看起来很严肃,反而每天和妈妈笑得稀里哗啦的,尤其是二 哥!因为他最会讨妈妈的欢心。看来家里妈妈最疼的还是二 哥,不过我们也不会因为这样而觉得妈妈偏心。因 为我们大家都了解爸爸和妈妈是非常疼爱我们的,不然他们也不会花那一笔钱来给2 个哥哥到英国创他们的事业啦!


还记得当初的currency rate for pound 是7 点多!walau, 还是两个人一起出国leh..想一想他们要种多少条菜才能得到这笔钱呢?哥哥走后又轮到我 国中毕业,要开始找学院了。终于给我找到KDU这间吃钱学院,它的学费贵得恐怖夸张,一个学期就要几乎十多千。看来我的diploma + degree加起来一共花了大约有一百千吧。而且,我是家里面就会花钱的一个,见什么要什么。他们也不会因为学费太贵而反对我进这间学院,反而还不断地学业上支持我!你们说,这还不疼爱我们吗?!这样的父母那里找!所以说父母对子女来说是最伟大的!


现在家里最小的我终于要走了,他们的心更加难过!2009 年的新年他们就要孤零零地度过了。想一想自己冷心的丢下他们而去到那么远,心里真的很抽痛!所以,我决定不 让他们送我机。因为我了解那种心情是怎样的!还记得哥哥走的时候,我和爸爸妈妈 都有去送机。当哥哥进闸的时候,妈妈也开始落泪了,眼睛也已经擦得红去了。最令我难忘的是平时很少和我们聊天的爸爸竟然眼眶的泪也在打转。这是我一生人之中第一次看到爸爸难过不舍得的样子。最后当哥哥check in然后走下escalator时,爸爸还走向前去和哥哥挥手。哇!这刻回忆永远都会在我脑海里,永远不会忘记!看来不让他们送机是没错的,我不想历史重演啦!


在家老是爱顶妈妈嘴的我,现在知道后悔了。现在知道顶嘴后感到非常惭愧!开始想念爸爸妈妈的声音。不晓得一年后的他们会变成怎样?在此也希望他们可以过得平平安安,身体健康!
哇!今年的冬至过得 比以前很 不一样,特别想念家人,很想一起吃团年饭!我们还要等到几时呢?我看爸妈比我更要期待准备六双筷子等待我们4 兄妹,一家齐齐吃团年饭的那一天来临。家里已经很久没有4 兄妹的声音了!爸妈,别担心! 我们很快就回家和你们团圆了。给我们一年的时间吧!

Friday, December 19, 2008

我的心情日记-《单念是痛苦的》

过去的一个星期,我对你的思念一天比一天还要夸张。你甚至霸占了我每一晚的梦!每次都逼自己不去想你,可是真的办不到咯!想一想,如果我们没有认识过,现在的我会不会过得快乐一点呢?躲在房间,想念你那搞笑的声音,心就快破碎不全!
问问自己到底许需要多久时间 才会对你的笑脸感到厌倦。唉!我真的分不清楚想念你到底是苦还是甜?今晚特别不想睡,因为明天醒来就是我减少一天留在malaysia。在孤独的夜里很明显的想你在我的身边紧紧地拥抱着我,亲吻我的脸!!没想到, 我喜欢你一有大概一年了。。。



我到底要不要告诉他我的感受呢?天啊,到底他懂不懂我对他的感觉?还是他已经知道一切,装傻?看来好像没时间了!!我害怕告诉他以后, 我们会对彼此感到尴尬,或是比以前没那么好谈了。或许我太注重自己的面子了吧!真的没勇气 !!!总觉得他已有自己喜欢的对象了,而我却一厢情愿的对着他。不过,有时你说话的态度和句子真的很令人误会咯!都不懂是自己想太多还是你给的暗示?你的一句自然而然的话,一个小小的爱的举动,所产生的情感效应,是一般人始料不及的。 当你说我像个小妹妹,此刻真的觉得你是不可能喜欢上一个小妹妹的! 为什么我还i要执迷不悟呢?

唉,知道你的答案后又如何呢?如果是好的答案,又怎样,我都要离开了!相反,如果得到不好听的答案, 我看我有多“鱼”多难受。到最后还不是自己独自伤心,然后利用时间去疗伤。何必呢? 有时真的很讨厌自己,偏偏要知道真正的答案才甘愿! 啊!!!讲还是不讲??????那不曾说出口的爱,仿佛蕴藏在煤里的火焰, 仿佛深埋于低地的河流,是一生的燃烧和奔腾。

眼泪提醒我对自己好一点,有时候会这么想:就算需要很多勇气 ,我会试着学习,学习不断努力把你放在心里不去想了。很傻,很作弄对吧!人就是这么矛盾!!



意见多多的你们,现在是时候轮到你们发挥了!!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Missing the stupid dum dum



Lack of you in my life almost 2 years, my heart missed a beat; i begin to feel that we are getting very far indeed. Our memories are slightly to become mistiness in my mind even your appearance also. His eyes are small with the square shape spec, under a pair of bushy brows, his grim face is like a carved mask when he is thinking something by seriously. As i well- known, he likes to wear formal shirt. His skin quite fair compared with other guys. i think time to stop thinking of your because i am afraid will cry again when i dream of u.

Few weeks ago, i had received the regard mail that you have been sent to me. But the feeling is gone, is totally different with last few months before. I remember last few months, i have been sent you heap of mails but you doesn't want to reply me at all. While, i've received the regard mail, i was read it with the normal feeling. i don't even feel excited. Can anyone tell me why? Should i happy about it? Are you still the person that i love the most in my heart? But i can sure that's not because of "time" to let me become like that. i need to appreciate them to accompany me all the way when i drop tears. They are my buddies.3 of them really help me a lot. Excluded them, i also need to appreciate 1 person. He give me a lot of comfort whenever i felt sad. I remember we were chat by phone scarcely knew time was gone 3 hours. I should be happy that can bring down this heavily loads so far.

Since one of my buddies told me these few sentences that you told other, i scarcely knew this matter until you conceal me till die. I was sworn i won't be forgive you. i was damn much disappointed about what you were said. It was badly burnt with the shame! After i heard that, it was vanity for me, it made me ill all the time! You have a wicked heart! I was always thought how to be healed of your sins. I was unhappy very unhappy for this matter. In the raw and chill midnight, i was never sleep because i was tried so hard cleared everything that you given before. I had packed everything into huge box with my tears. As yet, i couldn't even dare to open the box; i scare to see all those shit. I was promised myself i will open the box if you find me back in one day unless i will not be open the box even i miss you damn much.

My only thought was that, at last, i was to start a new life without you. I was glad at the moment, but then i had no idea of what i lay ahead.

P/S: be sure i forget you+me and everything! ensure my mind without you even though i miss you so much..

Sunday, December 14, 2008

我的心情日记- 《离别》

还有14天我就要和我最亲爱的家人,朋友,爱人,仰慕者,仇人等等说再见了。去到一个我不认识它和它也不认识我的西方国家重新生活。。

离別的情绪,总是会莫名其妙的來临,人行道上冷冷清清的,走在街上心情极度的低弱,想到即将要离开,心中的那种感觉,卻是说不太出來的难受,或許在不知不觉之中,有股情緒在默默的滋生。
Emo Comments For Hi5



突然想起一首阿妹的歌《永远的画面》。想着想着,眼泪也知道我现在那么难看的感觉,所以便不知不觉地滑落在我的脸颊上。 More Cute Comments hi5

就要离别,勇敢的流泪,而你的眼神像在对我说“不要离开我”,超越了语言不说再见。当时我们却了解分开了并不代表会改变谁需要谁。白云和蓝天依偎才有美好的画面,大风一吹离得并不远,下次见面彼此都记得以前的美好回忆。离别以前已开始想念着对方,让期待紧紧连结这一切,走慢一点不管有多远放不下就代表不会变。那永远的画面当我想念你的时候,闭上双眼,你在我心里面。Emo Comments For Hi5

Thursday, December 11, 2008

离别的心情总是非常难受

今天的心情特别糟因为面临及将离开马来西亚的我,头脑一片空白!一点出国的感觉都没有,现在只是非常不舍得我周围的朋友。28/12, 看来这一天对我来说是即恐怖又害怕。可能之前已有过和最亲密的人分离的经验。现在又要历史重演了!!想到要走,就开始发觉还有很多东西还没解决。第一次要离开家人以及朋友一年然后到外国创自己的事业,完全不简单!还以为自己是个独立的人,上几个月不停的渴望可以尽快拿到visa,以为去美国生活就像我现在自己住在KL一样, 其实想多一遍,如果在KL遇到不开心的事或困难至少可以搭3小时的车回家,可是在美国,怎么回呢???
她几时才会回复我的信息?为什么她完全好像已经消失在我周围了??还是等到我到了美国才回答我呢??第二个可能性应该是hipopo的那班朋友已经告诉她了??很想见她一面,希望上天会给我这次机会。。

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Monday, December 8, 2008

A living legend vanished in the Cameron Highlands jungles

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Does anyone know James Thompson's story??

It was happend in my hometown--->Cameron Highlands



The story will be start as below....

Once upon a time............................


James H.W. Thompson


Known to friends and strangers alike as Jim was born in Greenville, Delaware, America on March 21, 1906. Thai silk was virtualy unknown to the world befre Thompson arrived in Bangkok in 1945 and founded the vastly sucessful Thai silk Co. Ltd. Subsequently, Thompson was unofficially crowned the ‘Thai Silk King’. The world renowned company and its founder has been creadited with elevating the Silk trade in Thailand from an ailing cottage industry to the heights of International distinction. Tragically, Thompson’s legacies have long outlasted the man himself.

On Sunday, March 26, 1967, Jim Thompon vanished in the hills of Cameron Highlands and was never seen again.


Unsolved mystery, Since 26/3/1967
What really happened to Jim Thompson
??

The Thompson case was the subject of many livel debates and a number of explanations and theories were offered as to what really happened to him. To this day, the most tantalising question remains unanswered.


The Strange disappearance of Jim Thompson in Cameron Highlands


Thompson went to Cameron Highlands for a restful Easter weekend with some close friends. They were staying in the Moonlight cottage, which belonged to Dr. and Mrs. Ling, the cottage stood just at the edge of the jungle.





Moonlight Cottage


Characteristically, he had made appointments in Singapore for the following Monday. On the first day in Highlands he and one of his friends went for a walk in the jungle and soon realised they were lost.

“Don’t worry”, he said, “follow me along this stream and we’ll find our way out.” They did. But on the second day, while his friends were napping, Jim Thompson walked off in the jungle alone. He did not return..



Jim Thompson disappeared without a trace..


It was Dr. Ling who first reported Thompson’s failure to return to the cottage. He went to the police station at about 7:30 that evening.


A group of 30 Orang Asli trackers was gathered to help in the search, but they came back unsucessful at about two in the morning. From then on, the hunt for Thompson steadily intensified. The next morning, a group of 120 people took to the hills. Searchers were divided into small groups and went out in shifts working from early morning until midnight. The folloing day, twice the number of people wear despatched to the jungles surrounding Moonlight cottage but Thompson remained missing.

The massive search which had never before been seen in the area..



It was reported that the rescue team eventually swelled to more than 300 people including 200 officers and men of the Police Field Force from Ipoh, a tracker dog and British servicemen who were convalescing in the nearby British Military Hospital at Tanah Rata.

The searchers scoured the thick jungle on slopes, valleys and ravines equipped with walkie- talkies, field telephones and hailers. As news spread, more help arrived and the search took on a new dimension with string of colourful charaters that included local bomohs, temple mediums, soothsayers and an assortment of others who claimed to have psychic powers.


By the time, bits of information on the “Thai Silk King” as he was called began to trickle into the news. The authorities were initially fairly confident that the 61 years old was still alive and was either trapped in vitually impenetrable jungle or had been injured in a fall. They felt that it was only a matter of time before he was found but as the weeks wore on, hope finding him, alive at least, rapidly diminished. Officially, search efforts for Thompson continued for eleven days but possibly due to the substabtial reward that was later offered, people were still looking for him months after he disappeared.



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Sunday, December 7, 2008

我的心情日记-《ROOMMATE》

哈哈!!没想到我竟然会create 属于自己的blog,而且还用华语来写...没办法啦,谁叫我的华语比以前更烂!其实,我更本没有blogging 习惯,也许是受某个人的影响吧!!嘻嘻...她就是我的roommate-宇菁(Hipopo)。。我们非常喜欢作弄对方!!记得有一次我骗她进厕所,然后把她弄得像落汤鸡似的,哈哈!我们每一次都会想尽办法作弄对方....


今晚突然觉得特别静再加上下雨天,所有roommate(Hipopo+Ann)都回家了,只剩下我一个人在房里无所事事。非常想念你们啊!! 既然没事做,所以就提起笔,写了又搞笑又作弄的华语信给他们。我想信里的内容可以属于儿童不宜吧!哈哈哈!!


不知不觉和他们住在一起都有一段时间了,说长不长;说短不短,不过还真的瞒开心的!! 今晚一个人睡的我真的很想念他们的声音。 带着即将去美国的心情的我一点也不觉得兴奋,反而觉得很有压力!不懂为什么今晚特别想和你们分享我那不安的心情...唉,现在终于觉得他们的重要性了,哈哈!!


老实说我从来没有那么年轻的朋友,90年VS 87 年,差别的确有点大!hipopo总是说我像23 岁...唉哟!那里有将老喔!!不过, 和他们一起的日子特别开心, 谈天的时候一点压力也没有,烦恼也自然而然会忘掉!尤其是和Hipopo 一起作弄ann的时候,walau!!爽到~ 弄得我又哭又笑!!ann 也因为我们比以前变得更开朗了,声音也比以前更大声!!哈哈!也许是件好事吧!不然我走了以后,hipopo 就没有娱乐了。和他们住久了也学到不少的sarawak slang,譬如:Nia~..要死..吃大便... 等等,还有很多。。他们不在,一时想不起。全都是从ann那里学来的!!比起我某些朋友,他们应该是最好谈最好玩的....至少没有那种恶毒的心态来背叛我!没想到我还可以和90 年的小妹妹合得来....


Hipopo 的杰作!!在我的脚涂鸦,我完全不知道!

在这里, 我该借此机会向他们说声“Paiseh”!(面对面不好意思说嘛!)在他们考final的时候不停打扰他们,还用了hipopo半张桌子,睡了他半张床。不过他们也没有那么小气和我斤斤计较吧....哈哈!!同时,谢谢hipopo介绍帅女Hxxne 给我认识。 还有谢谢ann每次供应他的food storage给我们享用!


惨咯!!去到美国应该都找不到像你们那么好谈的人了,如果这样作弄和黑人或ang mo,我看肯定被他们打死!唉,不写了,现在已经是凌晨5am了。。希望你们的A-level 成绩可以榜上有名啦!!Speacial for Hipopo and Ann



Hipopo..when she was form 3,,i think..




Future pharmaceutist..hehe^^



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